A trip to the vet...

We took Fairy Dust to the vet...

The well is producing and other farm news.

We have water!

Pelicans, magpies and hummingbirds...for the birds, man!

I saw the Pelicans two more times. Both times with binoculars, and even Richard was there to witness the last sighting, on another lake just outside of Florence. That time there was only one majestic bird, looking a lot like a swan, except for the beak. Self-sacrifice, but also recognizing EGO and holding it at bay long enough to let the higher self shine through.

Also checked out my Crowley tarot deck (Yeah Susan, I have one too...although it has been a long time...synchronicity) and sure enough as my friend Susan, from Taos, reminded me the Pelican sits there with the Empress, the ultimate Mama and woman of power and strength (I will make it through this).

And one day I saw a single magpie, which I have not seen in these parts...odd, considering the geography, but right on, considering the meaning: anger, which boiled and bubbled inside of me one day last week until it exploded. I do regret that, although it is better to release it than to hold on to it.

We sold the goats. All of them. Richard could no longer milk them. although he tried and twisted his back the few days he did it--the result was another day on the floor or in bed or in the recliner, immobile. I tried too, but maybe not hard enough. It took me too long and they inevitably lost patience with me and started to squirm, lifting legs and sticking feet in the milk bucket...throw the whole batch away and try again tomorrow. I lost patience with trying. And I could not leave my little children alone so long. I chose the mom role rather than the milk maid.

Goats going to their new home

Another deciding factor: the kids, who have lost all control of themselves during Richard's down time. Is it the excitement of seeing Dad (on the floor in the living room), or something else? A little nagging voice in my head reminded me of how I used to call them my ADD babies when they were in my womb (how they twisted and tumbled), but the tantrums and the bouncing off the walls, the shrieking and running for the roads when outside, the general craziness begged to be examined. So I did a little research on ADHD, which they might be and found something even more disturbing...so  many of their behaviors matched mild cases of Autistic children. Either way, they appear to be on the PDD spectrum or the autistic spectrum. What can I do, I thought? Remove all dairy and gluten from their diet. Should see results in as little as three days or as long as six months. GFCF here we go! Don't need the goats anymore anyway.

The people who bought the whole herd were the same people we bought the three mamas from two years ago. Crazy. They love them already and will take very good care of them.

Richard went back to our Naturopath, who is a remarkable healer, and he walked out of there upright and better than I have seen him since this all began. He did have an MRI, which we don't know the results of, but we are trying to avoid a surgery, and instead are focusing upon spiritual matters. Messages from the Universe come in all forms.While he tries to figure out his issues, I'm trying to work through mine too.

I also sold my 23 baby chicks off to various people. Without the CSA (we sent all the money back to our shareholders), we don't need so many chickens. Eggs are backing up in my fridge.

I've been angry and frustrated. I can't get the gardens ready fast enough. I can't be the mom, the maid, the house cleaner, the cook, the masseuse, the gardener and the stable boy. My head is spinning and my body is so sore. My back is starting to hurt. Hey, maybe I should just sell the llamas too and head to NM and begin again. I search the internet for cheap properties...and Richard gets worse, his legs hurting and cramping (fear of moving) every time I talk of moving to NM.

Stuck back in my cage. I still have my llamas and 20 old hens and three entertaining roosters, two wandering guineas (more neighbors report them in their yards), and no money to hire help. Life is so good right now I can feel it transferring into my body...if something doesn't give I will be on the floor next to Richard. A comedy of errors indeed!

Maybe farming is not for us.

Ah, summer is coming and in rolls the chaos that usually arrives with the heat.

One of the estimates I got on finishing some of the projects (I have been trying, but just can't get it all done) was from our old friend with the Earthship...such a great man, and so spiritually aware. We decided to enlist his help for as much as we can afford...I think we need his wonderful energy as much as his construction expertise. Maybe the llama earthbag barn will get finished before it falls down. Yippee!

We walk blindly through our lives, creating a reality we don't understand or know how to relate to, unaware that we hold the power deep within to change it all.

The hummingbirds are back, buzzing me as I do my outside chores...there's meaning in that too, I know.

Projects, goats, chicken radio and Big Horn sheep

We've been working hard this week...Richard on various unfinished projects, and me on my continuous hunt for a place to relocate the farm.

We've almost finished the pallet fence in the upper garden. I think it looks nice. The boards that rise above the fence will be for the electric wire...to keep the deer out (I hope).

And from the outside...I like it too. Below is the view from the road.

 

We've also been working on our parking area with all of the dirt and gravel we've loaded into the truck by bucket fulls and dumped in our yard. Free cycle again!

Before long it will be finished and we will have a nice place for visitors to park. A lot of these landscape timbers came off of Free cycle too.

This week we sold, and delivered, Penny and Yvette to a family outside of Colorado Springs who raises Gypsy Horses and was looking for some more milk goats. They have a huge old barn that is in desperate need of renovation, but having only just bought the place, they are working nonstop to catch up on their projects too. The barn makes me nervous, but I think they will give our girls a good home and I hope they will send photos when the girls kid.

Penny and Yvette, on the way to their new home

And Cinnamon, my little girl goat, is about to kid...any day now. We check on her every few hours and I put one of my old baby monitors in the barn to listen for goat screams (the sounds of labor), but so far all I get are the chickens, singing their chicken songs. Richard calls it chicken radio..."I'm on a chicken radio..." Not quite the version by the Wall of Voodoo, but catchy. 

In the early morning hours, after the chickens are let out to run and play, the little song birds hang out by the barn and I can hear them, like the birdsong on the "soothing sounds" of the alarm clocks meant to lull you to sleep. It makes me happy. I wasn't aware of the variation of birdsong on our small property. When we were out working on the parking area, there were the prettiest sounds coming from a bird perched on the top of one of the Junipers. Very unusual. Richard thought it might be a Mocking bird. Do we have those here? It was too far away to see well enough to look up in my bird book.

So, I'm listening to the birds and listening for a goat in labor and looking for land on the internet. We took a drive yesterday up to Westcliffe because there is some cheap land up there, and I wanted to see how it "felt."

It was not right either. Too high, too cold, too windy, and too far away, although the thing that bugs me the most is that all of the roads into this mountain town are horrendous...winding and steep...giving me mini anxiety attacks as I look out over the edge of the mountain. It seems the older I get, the larger my fear of heights gets.

But, I was rewarded with an amazing glimpse of a herd of Big Horn Sheep as we headed towards Wetmore and the flat lands. The sheep were still in the twisty mountain valley, and my camera is still lacking a good zoom, but here's what I got:

Big Horn Sheep herd outside Westcliffe, Colorado

The best zoom my camera gets...not good enough.

They are amazing, breathtaking creatures, and I am fascinated every time I see them, which is not very often. I have yet to see a mountain goat, and I've been looking. Wouldn't it be cool to see one of those?

Anyway, the search for affordable land is on. It seems we might have to have at least 35 acres (the magical number) to be able to get a well that we can use for our home and for our gardens and livestock. Crazy water laws here in Colorado. Can we find 35 acres for less than 30K that is not desert hard pan? The challenge is on.

The Earthship thing...probably not, but I haven't entirely ruled it out, and we met a really cool man who's bringing his lady over for dinner on Friday. It seems we have a lot in common and even more to talk about. And yes, he lived in an old converted school bus while he built his homestead. Livin' the dream!

One day I'll land in the place I am meant to be...or maybe that's right where I am now. Who knows? I only know I have to keep on seeking out adventure because it keeps my heart beating and keeps my spirit singing. Live the life you are given to the best and fullest of your ability. That's all anyone can do.

Gettin' on the gray and pinin' away for a real farm

Here's an Earthbag update:  

We decided to go with the base coat of stucco (gray coat) to cover our bags and protect them from the UV rays. Since we will eventually stucco the outside to match our house color , we decided that rather than mix up local mud, which might or might not stick, we'd just do it the lazy store bought way. Actually stucco gray coat is really cheap.


Today, the weather was warm and sunny, and hopefully the coat we put on will dry before we reach the overnight predicted low of 28 F.
 
This time I got to help a little, painting on the thin coat, but Richard finished up the outside while I managed the children, laundry and phone calls from farm hunting.

I still ended up with stucco in my hair, covering my cowboy boots and splattered across my face. For a minute there, I felt like I was back in the creative mode, painting (anything will do) and getting dirty was part of the joy. Can't wait to play with the thicker stucco...just like getting my hands in clay again. 

One of the neighbors stopped by to ask about llama poop for his garden, and he and Richard chatted over the fence for a while. I'm guessing he's not one of the complainers, and in fact he's building a mulch/compost pile and building garden beds to plant in. Good for him! We are bringing down the neighborhood. Power to the backyard farmers!!

And the news on relocating the farm: our bank won't give us a loan. I guess in this day and age you can't own one house and buy another. No more contingencies. I've had several suggestions about selling our house and renting for a few months. Really? Do you think someone would rent to a family with two llamas, five goats, two guineas, 30 chickens, two dogs, four cats, two parakeets and a parrot? What would the pet deposit look like on that?

But, I called another guy...who just might be one of the nicest men I've talked to on the phone, and he's given me hope. If we could wipe out some erroneous info on our credit report we might have room to wiggle. So that's the next plan, otherwise we are looking at owner carry situations and they usually want too much down, although I'm not ruling that out. I've posted ads on Craigslist, looking for a farm. Hey, if you're a fan and have a farm in Penrose you want to sell and would carry the loan for a year or two, (until we sell this house and get another mortgage), please call me up!

In any case, life goes on here on the farm. The chicken class is still on for Sunday and we still have space open. We are about to order a mess of day old chicks...layers and broilers, and maybe even a turkey or two.
(Oh man, that's going to raise that rental deposit.)

Yesterday we went and picked up a load of manure and some sapling fruit trees from different farms in Penrose and I had more great conversations with a local farmer. They raise goats, have a couple of llama/alpaca cross girls, a great old orchard, and bees for honey that they bottle and sell.  Wonderful. The things that are possible.

I noticed in Penrose, most people have animals and the resulting manure pile, composting away somewhere, and in some cases, in their front yards, which is part of the working farm, and not some sprinkler system feeding sod surrounded by decorative rocks and gravel. I have to say I prefer the farm look, where real things are happening, and think we'd definitely fit better in a farming community that understands the projects being worked on and the value of that animal poop in the gardens.

Moving past the Holidays

The Holidays are a crazy time with senseless shopping, running around delivering gifts, trying to make sure everything is just right for that "big" day. And for what? The opening of presents. That's all that seems to matter. But, here in our house, we wait until after breakfast to calm the frenzy. It wasn't too bad this year...not many unthoughtful gifts. In fact, my second eldest daughter came home and stayed overnight. She helped with dinner and everything was nice. Family time. And then it was over. After dinner, my sweet older girl hightailed it out of here with any ride she could find. She had things to do, man. And I thought, "Thank God Christmas is over!" Another year survived.

We stayed up and watched the eclipse on December 21, the Winter Solstice, and that seemed more real to me than "Christmas." The moon turned red, or more like a faint peach color, glowing in the night sky. It was pretty cool, and although I was more caught up in the color and shape of the moon, seeing it from an artist's perspective, I realized that the short dark days were coming to an end, and that this moon, this solstice, ushered in a new era of more enlightened thinking for our planet, for our culture...I hope.


I have been noticing the lengthening of days already, even by a mere few minutes a week, and it lifts my spirit as another Christmas fades into the past. My darkest hour. It sure feels like it sometimes. I took the tree down this year two days after the big event. Some years it comes down the day after. To my surprise, some of my family members are still giving gifts. What? It's over! Let it be over! I don't want to shop anymore. I have a huge family and feel inclined to give after receiving. I know it's nonsense. The whole thing is nonsensical really. Back to the pagan holiday of Yule- giving a "gift" was supposed to be a moment of joy, of brightness to ward off the oppressiveness of the long, dark nights. We bought the little ones flashlights for Christmas, and they love them more than anything else and they have been warding off the darkness nonstop. Some of the gifts we get at this time of the year make me think of a commercialized society. Token gifts. Why bother? I have to figure out how to turn this thing around so it becomes more about time spent together...good food, good music, good conversation. Let's lesson the hectic pace of Christmas just a bit.

We also closed on our house in the Springs this week, and as I signed the papers and handed over the keys, I tried not to cry as I said goodbye to my old Victorian girl. She's a beautiful house. Wrong place and way too expensive for us, but I loved her dearly while we were enclosed in her warm safe, homey arms. Great memories. But now, we can focus on our little farm here and move in another direction.

Chicken fort

Richard has been moving chickens around. For Christmas, I got the stinky baby chicks out of my "studio" (spare bedroom, storage, office), which is a delightful thing. The babies in the big coop moved up to the chicken fort in the upper garden, and the little babies, including my white silkie moved down to the "brooder" in the big coop. Musical chickens.

chicken house in chicken fort

 

Reds in new chicken fort

This new chicken yard gives us the ability to separate flocks. The new babies will comprise a new flock of twelve. The older chickens in the big coop are still having issues with plucking each other and a general bad attitude since I had those lavender guineas in with them, and even though the guineas are gone, the weird behavior continues. I don't want any of my new chickens picking up these bad habits. The chicken fort in the upper garden will allow us to use the chickens in that garden for bug control and fertilizer.

We are still working on fencing and hope to get the north east corner of our property done with the pallets to allow the chickens in the lower garden, the aggressive poultry, more room to roam. Maybe if they have more to do, they will stop beating on each other. Maybe they are fighting over Charlie the Roo. Maybe I should take him out of the picture. Who knows.

On a side note, the two little fuzzy chicks are still tiny in comparison to the faster growing standard size layers. I've had them separated by twos in their respective rubbermaids in my office. The little black and white Cochin is the tiniest of all, but carries the biggest attitude. I wonder if it is a rooster. Ever since I've had him, when I change out food and water, he/she attacks my hand, and not just a pecking, but a hold on and tear off the skin kind of attack. He/she is a little pit bull of chickens. I was thinking of allowing him to grow enough to turn into dinner maybe, but when I moved all of my youngest chicks down to the brooder, the little Cochin Napolean seems to be getting his own dose of abuse--getting stepped on and chased by his new/old chicken room mates. And I, being who I am can only feel sorry for the little guy. Is it his fault he's smaller than anyone else on the farm? I suppose that would give anyone an attitude problem. His future remains open as we wait and watch the chicken antics in establishing a pecking order. The little white Silkie is still the cutest thing, her feathers growing over her eyes like some crazy Andy Warhol hairdo. I love her, still.

So, with the hectic holidays, we are trying to play catch up. It might snow tonight, believe it or not, so we are trying to get the animals and the farm ready for the storm and the very cold temperatures that are predicted. We have to hook up some sort of heat for my two remaining guineas, who ideally should be warmer than chickens, so Richard is on his way into town to get some hay for the llamas and extension cord for a heat lamp for my pet fowl. I really don't like cold, or snow, but we sure need the moisture. We had a weird day last week when it rained all evening and never turned to snow. In Colorado? Weird. It felt like some Spring or Fall night when I went out to put the chickens to bed. Warm. Odd weather is a comin' and we better get used to it, I think

Other news? Well, we took the Billy and Lily the goats back to their home. Breeding time is over and hopefully all the girls will have babies in the Spring. We have to order more kid jammies for the little ones that will be coming. Goat pajamas are the cutest. We sent out a flyer on the CSA with Christmas cards but still have no takers, yet. We are still trying to rouse enough interest locally to purchase a dairy cow communally, sharing milk, expenses and chores. If we could afford to buy the cow outright, we would and just sell extra shares, but we don't have the $1300 a local dairy is asking for their bred yearling Jersey. So, we may have to wait on a dairy cow. And we are working on turning the dining area of our kitchen into a more friendly public space to hold classes in the future.

We recycled some dressers and found some cheap plywood that will be stained to make into a desk/counter/workspace area. I'd like to get real cabinets, upper and lower to hold our canning supplies, dairy supplies, soap making supplies, etc.

Also thinking of putting in a three compartment sink. It is so difficult to wash those big cheese and canning pots in a standard kitchen sink. Would it look too weird, I wonder? Planning a greenhouse on our patio, on the south side of our house. If we could turn it into an enclosed space, it would get solar gain to let heat into the house and we could of course grow our plant starts out there. I'd like the south side of our modular to turn into the front face of an Earthship. Wouldn't that be something?

Found some leather scraps to sew on the bottom of my felt slippers. We did finish a tin can man which we gave to my mother for Christmas. It's a big hit, but I forgot to take pictures. Working on another. Always staying busy here on the farm. So much to do with kids, animals, crafts, gardens to plan and remodel projects. The next year will be full of wonderful things!