Is anyone listening? Forward to...

Here's the dilemma of the day: I hate Facebook. There comes a point, I'd like to hope, in every spiritual traveler's life when watching television or listening to mainstream radio...mainstream media and all of it's consumer based brainwashing, becomes painful. Literally. Gives you a headache, makes you nauseous, or whatever. The silence becomes blessed because it is not chattering away, supporting a destructive culture focused on Ego.

Facebook has become like that to me. It served its purpose for a moment, to reconnect with my family when I was more focused on providing a network of support for my sister and her disease. When I was thinking of setting up a fundraiser of sorts for alternative cancer treatments, Facebook seemed like a good way to reach the most people. But, my sister opted to go the traditional route with chemo and radiation...which I heard about on Facebook, ironically, and I think I may have gotten one response for financial support of my fundraiser. Strange.

Actually, the more I participated in Facebook, as an observer, really, the more I realized it was indeed a forum for mainstream society to talk about...nothing. A waste of time. Good to connect with old friends and family, but why, if all we have to say is what we are buying now, what video game we are playing, or some other nonsense in support of the right wing part of America that has no interest what-so-ever in saving the planet or the people on it. More of the same. It is truly unfortunate that most of my family and the few friends I have are participating in this social garbage, supporting the consumerist culture.

I used to post links to this blog on Facebook, but when I realized that I would probably offend too many people I knew, I stopped, in fact, I bowed out of Facebook, kind of like I backed out of mainstream society some twenty five years ago. But then as it became more clear to me that time is running out, that my job is to keep talking as well as change my own life to live more gently on our wounded planet, I thought how this group of people I don't want to offend, half of whom have decided I'm crazy anyway, how those very people are the ones in most need of the message. Hmmmm....

Now isn't that opening myself up to a whole bunch of crap? I have been judged as strange or immoral, as a bad, disinterested parent, as a whore, I'm sure with my three marriages, as less than anything really, because I was a welfare mom, as uneducated (I'm one of the few of my family with an actual college degree), and hopelessly unsuccessful because I didn't dress my kids in the latest expensive fashions. I have never felt good enough for my family....any of them, and so for the most part I stopped attending family functions where some people flung sarcastic remarks or passive aggressive bullsh**t that they thought I was too stupid to get. But I did get views full of racism, elitism, judgment and any number of other "normal" and accepted American thoughts and behaviors. Creepy. I guess it was simpler to think that I didn't belong to my extended family any more than I belonged to the nuclear family that raised me, and just disappear.

I've had a great life so far. I've been in love so many times I can't count them, had four gorgeous and wonderful kids, finished my college degree, been on a summer archaeological dig, hung out with the Barnum and Bailey circus, had artwork in art shows, started my own art magazine to promote local art, written for an independent local newspaper, met some wonderfully interesting people, read many fabulous books, lived in New Mexico on and off for three years, lived on the West Coast for a minute, toured an Earthship and met one of the Reynolds clan, lived in a great old Victorian house that we remodeled, built a passive solar house on a commune that we lost, moved to the country and am now starting a homestead with a man who has finally awakened. And, I finally have llamas!!! Another dream realized.

I have been blessed in my life because it has been one of adventure. I wouldn't trade a minute of my judged life to live in suburbia and wear the right clothes. My family...few know anything about me because they dismissed me a long time ago (was it when I gave myself a mohawk?), and that was okay with me. Apples and oranges. I don't want to live in their world and they don't want to live in mine.

But here's the thing people: you can choose to continue sitting on your couches and judging others because they don't live in the right neighborhoods, or wear the right clothes, or think like you do. To hell with them all, right? And I admit it, I don't believe in some patriarchal god figure, and I never will. I don't believe religion belongs in government or in the schools. I don't believe in your god. Period. I'm not going to a hell I don't believe in either, although, we all are doing a damn good job creating that hell right here on our sacred planet. You can continue to think that the more stuff you acquire, the better you will feel...I finally got that BMW or that McMansion in the woods. You can continue to pretend that global warming is not occurring as you continue to go shopping for more stuff you don't really need anyway. And, get more plastic bags to fill up the landfills. Bottled water is great too!

Here's the thing. I agree to disagree. I think most of mainstream society is as crazy as they think I am. Religion and politics aside,  (although really, they are some of the biggest culprits to the mind-numbing of America), we are running out of time for our civilization and our planet. You can pretend, but it just isn't reality. Wake up. What's happening with the crazy weather? The violence? The economy? We are in the downward spiral of the collapse of our civilization, that's what. Extinction.

I'd like to have a planet for my kids to inherit. I'd hate to think of the human race wiping itself out because it was too stubborn to admit what was happening. Let's all get a hold of our EGOS and think for a minute. What really matters? Another pair of shoes or a new purse? Could you possibly forgo those items if it adds a few seconds to the time humanity has left? And so many of you will think....I deserve this thing because I worked so hard to get it. Right. You have been fooled into thinking that things matter more than people, than the animals we are driving to extinction, and the planet itself. It is what we have been taught from the day we were born. It's not your fault you have been duped into supporting corporate capitalism and all of the rich men at the top of the food chain.

But now, it is time to wake up and there is no more time for excuses. You are either part of the problem, or part of the solution.


I have decided to keep talking, no matter what kind of crap I get for it. It's what I can do to try to save our world. It's not a joke anymore. We are past peak-oil. Does anyone know what that means? Turn off the damn TV and educate yourselves on something besides sports scores and movie star gossip. The information is out there, supported by scientists and educated people, not just pathetic old me.

You do need to recycle. You do need to buy local. You do need to stop the crazy consumerism that has gotten the human race to where it is now. There is no longer a choice. We have four years to turn this craziness around. So, you better start supporting those "ugly" windmills and stop thinking "trendy" local food movements are for crazy hippies or devil worshipers or whatever. In a few years, when food is no longer trucked in due to the high prices of fuel, you'll be happy that you are growing your own vegetable garden.
What do you have to lose? Your ego or the planet? Ego or earth? Ego or humanity?

This blog is a public forum for me to air the emotional hurt I have suffered for years from the closemindness of my family. It is a blog that will weed out the non-supporters. I am starting a new Facebook page, under my real name, because, hey, this is who I am and I don't need to be ashamed anymore. I have some things to say and if you don't want to hear it, don't come to the conversation. If you don't want to be part of the solution, then stay out of my way, and stay out of my world, because I'm on a mission to save the planet and I don't have any interest in going shopping, or in who won the football game or in playing weird computer farm games.

Tell me how you are going to do your part to end the destruction of our civilization, and we have lots to talk about. I can direct you to the resources that will open your eyes (books and films on the right side of this blog, and The Story of Stuff at the bottom). I can teach what I know, and I am willing to help anyone who wants to be a part of the change. Believe it or not, there are lots of us out here trying to make a difference and we welcome fellow supporters. It's going to take big, giant steps to turn this train around.

And, instead of living from a place of fear, we can express our love for each other, for the planet, and we might even have fun making a difference. I'm having a ball on my little farm with my animals and the upcoming CSA, and meeting people in the community who share an understanding and feel a responsibility to change their lives to ones of sustainability.

So, tell me what you're doing to save the world and we can start a new Facebook chat about what's really important. Turns out what's really good for your body is good for the planet too. Get healthy and make the ailing planet healthy at the same time...it'll do wonders for your soul.

And boycott consumer based commercialized Christmas. The XMAS Boycott of 2011 is still on!!!

Four years left to make the change!!!

I've been trying to write some personal essays that I might one day publish, without offending anyone I know. Is that possible? Friends, family, neighbors...it doesn't even matter anymore. I've gone back and edited my words several times to come across in a less harsh manner.

And then on the recommendation of one of the Canon Food Co-op members, Richard and I watched a film/documentary entitled  The Age of Stupid. Thanks Judy for the heads up on this one. Everyone should most certainly watch this film. At the end of this movie, I sat, mouth agape (I could feel it hanging open), on the verge of tears, ready to start a revolution to save humanity and our planet from the annihilation of consumerism. I knew it was bad, but every single time I see one of these films, I get frightened by how bad it really is.

So, no, I don't care who I offend any more. Most of my family and friends live in this capitalistic world that is hell bent on its own destruction. No one wants to believe any of the environmental "whispers" they hear by accident while flipping through channels. They are quick to dismiss the words of scientists on global warming because one of the speakers has a nice house, a nice car...a private jet? Can't recycle now. He's the hypocrite.

More of the same old BS. Like in the film, when people in England were so set against wind turbines in their neighborhoods because it would ruin the view and bring their property values down. But, they are environmentally aware, they claim. What is this craziness? What about the power poles and electric lines that run next to highways and streets? Don't those ruin the view? Or have they become invisible to most people because they've been  there so long?

Ultimately, it doesn't matter and we have to rethink beauty. I find anything that will save the planet for my kids to be downright irresistible. To look across a green field and see those windmills turning, bringing everyone clean energy, now that would be a gorgeous sight to behold. Solar on every rooftop and in open fields here in the southwest where the sun shines 325 days a year. Yeah, I think that would be the prettiest thing I ever saw, knowing that life on our planet could continue because of those big giant, spinning flowers of the prairie.

We are running out of time. I knew this too, but somehow forgot that the crucial factor is how long we have before the damage we have done to our planet is irreversible, before we really sign our death sentence, the end of all humanity. All humanity...as in extinction. Is that hard to understand? The year at the end of this test of humanity is 2015. That is in four years. Four years to change it all before we can no longer turn around our fast train to global destruction and a hell only imagined in the Bible.

I'm afraid. Really afraid that if we don't open our eyes and try to act like the civilized people we claim to be, there will be no green grass, no trees and no food for my children when they reach adulthood. This is real people. I don't care who I offend anymore. What if we crazy environmental dooms-dayers turn out to be wrong, as Richard always argues...what will we have to show for our possible erroneous prediction? A cleaner, greener, more peaceful world where all the citizens are equally entitled to energy and food and clean water? A world that values the advancement of spirit rather than Ego in its climb for more dollars? How can that be a bad thing? Maybe we will have a world that we all enjoy living in for a few more centuries.

How truly bizarre to be alive in a time where I could witness my species extinction. That's got to be the scariest thing I've ever thought about. Worse than my own death. My heart is racing now as I energize with the desire to make a difference, to convince more people that only we, the people here now, can change the outcome of this story. Only we, as a group, can say no to the politicians and demand clean energy, clean food, clean medicine and a future planet to live on. Stop buying crap people!!!! What do you really need?

Today we went to the grocery store, and with this movie fresh in my head, I looked at the customers around me and noticed, to my horror, that we, my own little family of four, were the only ones out of ten checkout lanes that had brought our own cloth, reusable grocery bags. It's hopeless. Pathetic. Maybe we are committing suicide as a culture, as a species because we don't value ourselves enough. Is the dollar more important than the future of our children? Is it really? Think long and hard about what you as a citizen of this planet are willing to do to save the earth.

I've decided to boycott consumer based Christmas. It'll be the great Xmas Boycott of 2011. No shopping. No consuming. No support of corporate capitalism. My rules? Well, if it's hand made out of recycled materials, I can give it...a card, a doll, a rug, a purse, a tin man, whatever. Food made from wholesome organic materials are good too. Time...just time spent with loved ones should be enough. Or giving to a charity in someone else's name is a great gift. Make it an organization that is doing its part to save the planet. No lights this year---wasted energy. If I get a wrapped gift, I'll give it to a local charity, unopened. I realize that that may spoil the fun, and offend the giver, but a manufactured item might sneak its way into my Christmas boycott. Wrapped gifts...maybe next year...no, wait. let's give up commercial Christmas altogether. No more wrapping paper and bows. Unless you make them. I always thought gifts wrapped in material would be cool. You could save up the years and make a quilt one day. No mail ordered items. Keep it local. Planes are one of the biggest contributors to the world destruction. And, let's just have Christmas on one day...say the 25th, or the 21st in support of the winter solstice. No other days. You snooze, you lose. Didn't get it there, didn't get it made, too bad. It's over. Let's stop playing the consumer game and hit them when they need it most...the holidays. Oh, you think some people might go out of business? Yippee!!! Reduce. If we want to save our world, we have to take big, giant steps. Four years. Four years. And people should find better ways to spend their work days than feeding the corporate machine.

What are you going to do today to make a change? Make it big. You don't need another pair of shoes or a new power tool. You do need a planet to live on.

Join me in the Christmas Boycott of 2011. Maybe if enough people stop shopping (no more Black Friday) then we can hit the corporate giants where it hurts. Oh, and stop eating fast food, and take your own bags to the grocery store. Stop being lazy. Stop blaming others. Stop pretending it doesn't matter. Jesus would want you all to save your home planet, and would probably support the Christmas Boycott of 2011 on the basis that He never preached materialism or dreamed that His birthday would be turned into such an atrocity.

Am I offending anyone yet? Well, I'm offended by the greed and stupidity of Western society. I'm offended that the dollar means more than the planet. I'm offended that so many people shut their eyes to the reality of global warming. I'm offended that my children and all the little, innocent ones all over the world don't mean enough to my own family and my community to save. I'm offended and fed up. I will not stop talking. I will not shut up. Everywhere I go. Everyone I meet. "Do you recycle?" I will ask. "Do you believe in human extinction enough to do your part to make it a reality?" Congratulations...you win the end of the world!!! That will be some reality show, won't it?

Documentaries before tire walls...and gardens

Lat night Richard and I watched a film off of Netflix called, No Impact Man: The Documentary, which was about a man and his family who live in New York City. This man, Colin Beavan had set up a year long project in which he and his family reduced their impact upon the planet to almost nothing at the end of twelve months. It is well worth watching, and raises the question of how much we really need. Can we live more simply and thereby reduce our imprint upon the planet? While I'm not ready to give up toilet paper and refrigeration, I am always looking for affordable alternatives that take me one step further from corporate capitalism.

We have not canceled our Netflix subscription yet because we have stumbled upon a world of wonderful documentaries. Food Matters is another good one and I highly recommend it. I gave it to my sister for Christmas in the hope that she discovers that there really are alternatives out there to the traditional cancer treatments. In fact, most of our ailments can be cured by our diet, a simple truth that Corporate Medicine does not want people to know. Eat real food and get rid of the garbage---processed and packaged foods, chemically poisoned fruits and vegetables, genetically modified foodstuffs, hormone and antibody injected meat. Throw in a little exercise, some stress relieving meditation and you should live to a ripe old age, with the health to accomplish almost anything.

We also watched a film Go Further, in which Woody Harrelson  takes a road/bike trip down the west coast talking about environmental responsibility. Also pretty good, and interesting to see a movie star involved in the environmental revolution. Apparently Harrelson is quite the activist for many causes, including the right to grow hemp, which makes him a good guy in my book.

Check out these great films and share. We've got to keep talking and getting the information out if we hope to save the planet.

At home on the farm, we quietly allowed the new year to creep on in as we watched the needle on the thermometer drop to 2 degrees F and listened to the wind howl through the past few nights, threatening to tear the siding off of our manufactured home. We got about 1/2" of snow, maybe, but it sure has been cold. The critters are all safe and sound with heat lamps and heaters in their waters...except for some of the poultry, which we have to bring the frozen waterers in every morning to un-thaw and refill.

Came up with a new plan for our wall of tires: to make a bermed canning garden that will be sort of like a huge sunken bed or basin to collect any moisture we might get and retain it in the garden space. This will be our home garden for tomatoes and anything we can come up with to fill our pantry. Now Richard wants to work on the paths in this garden first, digging them down and refilling with would chips that will slowly decompose and hold moisture for nearby plants...something Rob over at One Straw talks about doing in his gardens.

And now the green house looks all cleaned up...at least on one side. The remaining tires are filled with wood chips to provide some thermal mass and act as insulator to the few plants planted in the greenhouse.

Since Richard discovered how much easier Earthbags seem to build with, as opposed to rammed tire building, he has no interest in even getting started on a tire wall, so I was left with the question of what to do with the tires we have accumulated. It came to me as I woke this morning...build a berm and basin garden out of them.

 So another project has been born. I hope the tires can be filled and covered with dirt from the center of the basin, and then planted with flowers and plants that deter predatory insects, or at least give the little buggers something to eat besides my tomatoes and peppers.

To be environmentally responsible, we must learn to use and reuse the items at hand, and try not to create more trash. I didn't want to throw the tires in the garbage because our ideas have changed. There will always be some use for them, if we get creative, and maybe in the end we will have to pound a few tires, but so what? I only want to move them out of sight of the covenant police, and the tire garden seems like it might be a good use of them...for now. Also, Richard has decided not to buy woven polypropelene bags from the manufacturers, but instead to find recycled ones...old feed bags or misprints, and the last time we went by the feed store, Dale had a half dozen bags his customers had brought back for us. Wonderful! And so it has begun..the Earthbag adventure.

Everyday is an opportunity to learn or to do something that will benefit the planet or the people on it. Do no harm. How can we all reexamine our own lives to see what few things we might give up that will lesson our personal impact on our environment? Could we hang our laundry outside on the clothesline? Could we take our own cups to Starbucks for our morning coffee? Could we stop buying dinners in a box and maybe make our own real food at home, where we can sit down with our family to eat it?

Our little daughter turned four yesterday, and we made the cake, frosting and ice cream from scratch, from our own eggs and our goats milk. It was wonderful knowing we did not have to alter our celebration because we no longer buy cake mixes, prepared frosting, or ice-cream. We are learning how to change our lives to fit our new paradigm of healthy living, environmental responsibility, and the lasting spiritual wisdom that comes as a side effect of simple living.

Moving past the Holidays

The Holidays are a crazy time with senseless shopping, running around delivering gifts, trying to make sure everything is just right for that "big" day. And for what? The opening of presents. That's all that seems to matter. But, here in our house, we wait until after breakfast to calm the frenzy. It wasn't too bad this year...not many unthoughtful gifts. In fact, my second eldest daughter came home and stayed overnight. She helped with dinner and everything was nice. Family time. And then it was over. After dinner, my sweet older girl hightailed it out of here with any ride she could find. She had things to do, man. And I thought, "Thank God Christmas is over!" Another year survived.

We stayed up and watched the eclipse on December 21, the Winter Solstice, and that seemed more real to me than "Christmas." The moon turned red, or more like a faint peach color, glowing in the night sky. It was pretty cool, and although I was more caught up in the color and shape of the moon, seeing it from an artist's perspective, I realized that the short dark days were coming to an end, and that this moon, this solstice, ushered in a new era of more enlightened thinking for our planet, for our culture...I hope.


I have been noticing the lengthening of days already, even by a mere few minutes a week, and it lifts my spirit as another Christmas fades into the past. My darkest hour. It sure feels like it sometimes. I took the tree down this year two days after the big event. Some years it comes down the day after. To my surprise, some of my family members are still giving gifts. What? It's over! Let it be over! I don't want to shop anymore. I have a huge family and feel inclined to give after receiving. I know it's nonsense. The whole thing is nonsensical really. Back to the pagan holiday of Yule- giving a "gift" was supposed to be a moment of joy, of brightness to ward off the oppressiveness of the long, dark nights. We bought the little ones flashlights for Christmas, and they love them more than anything else and they have been warding off the darkness nonstop. Some of the gifts we get at this time of the year make me think of a commercialized society. Token gifts. Why bother? I have to figure out how to turn this thing around so it becomes more about time spent together...good food, good music, good conversation. Let's lesson the hectic pace of Christmas just a bit.

We also closed on our house in the Springs this week, and as I signed the papers and handed over the keys, I tried not to cry as I said goodbye to my old Victorian girl. She's a beautiful house. Wrong place and way too expensive for us, but I loved her dearly while we were enclosed in her warm safe, homey arms. Great memories. But now, we can focus on our little farm here and move in another direction.

Chicken fort

Richard has been moving chickens around. For Christmas, I got the stinky baby chicks out of my "studio" (spare bedroom, storage, office), which is a delightful thing. The babies in the big coop moved up to the chicken fort in the upper garden, and the little babies, including my white silkie moved down to the "brooder" in the big coop. Musical chickens.

chicken house in chicken fort

 

Reds in new chicken fort

This new chicken yard gives us the ability to separate flocks. The new babies will comprise a new flock of twelve. The older chickens in the big coop are still having issues with plucking each other and a general bad attitude since I had those lavender guineas in with them, and even though the guineas are gone, the weird behavior continues. I don't want any of my new chickens picking up these bad habits. The chicken fort in the upper garden will allow us to use the chickens in that garden for bug control and fertilizer.

We are still working on fencing and hope to get the north east corner of our property done with the pallets to allow the chickens in the lower garden, the aggressive poultry, more room to roam. Maybe if they have more to do, they will stop beating on each other. Maybe they are fighting over Charlie the Roo. Maybe I should take him out of the picture. Who knows.

On a side note, the two little fuzzy chicks are still tiny in comparison to the faster growing standard size layers. I've had them separated by twos in their respective rubbermaids in my office. The little black and white Cochin is the tiniest of all, but carries the biggest attitude. I wonder if it is a rooster. Ever since I've had him, when I change out food and water, he/she attacks my hand, and not just a pecking, but a hold on and tear off the skin kind of attack. He/she is a little pit bull of chickens. I was thinking of allowing him to grow enough to turn into dinner maybe, but when I moved all of my youngest chicks down to the brooder, the little Cochin Napolean seems to be getting his own dose of abuse--getting stepped on and chased by his new/old chicken room mates. And I, being who I am can only feel sorry for the little guy. Is it his fault he's smaller than anyone else on the farm? I suppose that would give anyone an attitude problem. His future remains open as we wait and watch the chicken antics in establishing a pecking order. The little white Silkie is still the cutest thing, her feathers growing over her eyes like some crazy Andy Warhol hairdo. I love her, still.

So, with the hectic holidays, we are trying to play catch up. It might snow tonight, believe it or not, so we are trying to get the animals and the farm ready for the storm and the very cold temperatures that are predicted. We have to hook up some sort of heat for my two remaining guineas, who ideally should be warmer than chickens, so Richard is on his way into town to get some hay for the llamas and extension cord for a heat lamp for my pet fowl. I really don't like cold, or snow, but we sure need the moisture. We had a weird day last week when it rained all evening and never turned to snow. In Colorado? Weird. It felt like some Spring or Fall night when I went out to put the chickens to bed. Warm. Odd weather is a comin' and we better get used to it, I think

Other news? Well, we took the Billy and Lily the goats back to their home. Breeding time is over and hopefully all the girls will have babies in the Spring. We have to order more kid jammies for the little ones that will be coming. Goat pajamas are the cutest. We sent out a flyer on the CSA with Christmas cards but still have no takers, yet. We are still trying to rouse enough interest locally to purchase a dairy cow communally, sharing milk, expenses and chores. If we could afford to buy the cow outright, we would and just sell extra shares, but we don't have the $1300 a local dairy is asking for their bred yearling Jersey. So, we may have to wait on a dairy cow. And we are working on turning the dining area of our kitchen into a more friendly public space to hold classes in the future.

We recycled some dressers and found some cheap plywood that will be stained to make into a desk/counter/workspace area. I'd like to get real cabinets, upper and lower to hold our canning supplies, dairy supplies, soap making supplies, etc.

Also thinking of putting in a three compartment sink. It is so difficult to wash those big cheese and canning pots in a standard kitchen sink. Would it look too weird, I wonder? Planning a greenhouse on our patio, on the south side of our house. If we could turn it into an enclosed space, it would get solar gain to let heat into the house and we could of course grow our plant starts out there. I'd like the south side of our modular to turn into the front face of an Earthship. Wouldn't that be something?

Found some leather scraps to sew on the bottom of my felt slippers. We did finish a tin can man which we gave to my mother for Christmas. It's a big hit, but I forgot to take pictures. Working on another. Always staying busy here on the farm. So much to do with kids, animals, crafts, gardens to plan and remodel projects. The next year will be full of wonderful things!

UFO'S for Christmas?

It finally snowed here in our high desert land! For a while I wondered if we were ever going to have winter with our 50-60 degree sunny days. It has been so dry we have been watering all of our gardens and trees for fear of losing them to the drought conditions. When Richard went to pick up hay today, one of the farmers in town, who recently attended a soil conservation meeting where the stats for the century were available, said it was shaping up to be the driest, windiest winter in history. Oh boy. Global warming in action.  

I  know we haven't seen any moisture for several months. I am beginning to feel a bit concerned. If we don't have enough water, we are doomed. Needless to say, I've been trying to find a location we might permanently relocate to,  a place with enough water that we could survive on water catchment and intelligent garden design systems. Richard thinks the magic number is 15 inches per year. We don't get that here. We are short by several inches and if it continues to dry out, there is no hope. When the town runs out of water, we run out of water. We don't have a well. We are on the town water system. It is still illegal in Colorado to collect rain water, although I'm considering going renegade on that law. In ancient civilizations, when the drought came for an extended period, the people all died. Simple. We need water. A sustainable homestead takes the physical needs into consideration when planning for an unknown future of Peak Oil, global warming, societal collapse, etc.

So, where could we go? Richard thinks a place without building codes would be ideal for building an Earthsip or earth bag house that we could live in as we went, which is true, but where in the world is that? It turns out there are a few counties in Colorado without building codes, including one to the south of us, and one of the little towns over there gets about 8 more inches of moisture per year. Perfect. But then there is New Mexico, the land that I love, which allows rain water collection, and has more lenient building codes anyway.  The Earthships originated in NM.

So, even though we can't afford to move, I've been snooping around on the internet, trying to find another perfect spot. I do this fairly often, feeling restless and annoyed by suburbia and the covenants imposed upon us. 

I've been learning some interesting things about Rio Arriba county in NM. There's a little town down there called Dulce (it's not wet enough to move to, and on a reservation) that has quite a colorful history in the world of Extraterrestrials. Look it up to learn more about it. It involves the Archuleta Mesa and underground military installations and all sorts of bizarre goings on. Is this for real? And if it is, what does that mean for the rest of us? And does the location of my little homestead even matter anymore?

Well, I'm not sure what to believe anymore. When we went to Taos for the first time in November of 2001, Richard and I had our own close encounter...about five or six green glowing, round orbs in the night sky. "Are you seeing this?" I asked him.  You have to understand that back in the day, Richard was about as straight edge, conservative, discount anything he couldn't see or prove, as a son of upper middle class suburbia could be, trained in cynicism for anything metaphysical. "Are you seeing this?" I asked him that night long ago, wondering if my mind had finally slipped into fantasy land. Sure I had heard about UFO's in NM and joked about them taking people and mutilating cattle in the San Luis Valley. It was part of the quirky history of the Southwest. Right?

"Let's follow them," Richard said. He apparently was seeing it too. But no one else driving on the road stopped. There were no people standing, car doors flung open, gawking at the green lights in the sky. I tuned in to the local radio station (KTAO, one of my favorite stations to this day) and there was no mention of this mysterious thing in the sky. Helicopters? They aren't green these days are they, I wondered? It was crazy New Mexico weird, but we followed the lights as they headed slowly up toward Taos mountain and the Ski Valley. Richard drove his little Subaru right through the snow until the road dead ended into a snow bank too big for us to cross...and the lights disappeared behind the mountain.

I never forgot. When we came back to Colorado, I searched the internet for mention of the mysterious lights. Nothing. We decided to move to Taos that night. It was a sign after all, even if it was one we couldn't understand. How cool was that really? A close encounter of the first kind in the Land of Enchantment where anything is possible. I was thrilled, but wary about mentioning it to anyone, knowing most people were well on their way to thinking me crazy anyway.

And so it comes back. Life is a circle, isn't it? I once painted a painting of circles and circles and circles, intermixed, crossing, intertwined, confused and chaotic. Everything comes back around. Here I am again, ten years later, contemplating the existence of ET. 

We're not going to move to Dulce, it's on a reservation and I don't think we could anyway, and Chama, where I was originally looking, is on the other side of the great Divide from that alien activity that is rumored to be occurring there. But, I know that the Southwest in general seems to be a hot spot for alien activity. What is going on in these parts? Is the government hiding this from us too? Most certainly. They can  garble information about our food, our planet and conditions about global warming, and it seems the information they dish out to us unsuspecting Americans is the information that keeps us in our sheeple suits.

I never did fit into mainstream society and the cute little lamb costume they had me fitted for, I burned in a bonfire built from the rage of a misunderstood teenage girl. It was my right of passage. And to that fire I added everything that would hold me down, keep me a prisoner to the American Dream and the herd mentality. That included Christianity, materialism, capitalism, government and anything else that tried to put me in the box of the unthinking, mindless zombie like 9 to 5 ers who were sleepwalking around me, everywhere I looked. I wanted no part of it. I still don't.

In this season of materialism, I always have a hard time coming back to the expected reality I feel is forced upon me. I hate Christmas. Every year I feel the same unease about participating in consumerism, letting everyone buy my kids things they don't need. And every year I wonder how I could just bow out of that too. Hey folks, I'm not doing Christmas anymore, so don't buy me anything and don't expect me to go out shopping to find some token gift that will never be used. It's all ridiculous. The only positive I have to remember is that Christmas is really a pagan holiday, from the tree to Santa Claus, the gift giving and the feasting, the reindeer and the yule log. I'm cool with that. Santa is a shaman and Jesus Christ may not have even been born in December. How about that? If only we as a society could stop with the crazy shopping madness. Give a handmade gift instead. 

So the Universe gave me a little gift this season. Maybe a little comic relief...it did make me laugh when I read that aliens of many species are living underground, with massive tunnel systems that traverse the globe. Some of the governments are in on it. Sure why not? And I most assuredly am having a great time now researching the whole secret world of ET. Who knew? Fun, fun for the holidays. And I continue to look for the perfect, safe, alien free homestead location, ruling out various places for lack of water or...extraterrestrial presence. Don't want to live there and let my children become the next abductees in the endless parade of genetic madness and experimentation rumored to be going on. But then, is anyone safe anywhere? What could you do really if they came for you?

I'll just go back to my farming, my little piece of reality in an insane world. I can still eat healthy and take my vitamins (Did you know Vitamin C can cure cancer? Another cover-up.) Sometimes I look up into the sky and wonder. Maybe the 2012 end times involves an intergalactic underground battle that will have far bigger repercussions for us Earth dwellers than even global warming. Who knows. I've still got to do my part to save the planet, but this new information has my head spinning. I'm hoping that the rumors of benevolent ETs are true too, to help mankind save itself from itself and heal our great planet. Just a gift from the Universe...something to keep in mind as we plan for a sustainable future for our children and grandchildren.

Something new happens every day. Gifts. Miracles. Pieces of the puzzle. Tidbits of information that may one day come together to be useful or to make the bigger picture easier to see. I am thankful for the interesting, unexpected and fun gifts that expand my mind.