Planting and Writing

Upper garden

Planting like mad! We finished our upper garden area with a little help from some hired hands, although not as much as I'd have hoped. It turned out the tiller they brought wouldn't run much for anyone but me...so I tilled the garden. The great thing is, it got done!

We planted two long rows of tomatoes, a bunch of peppers, more broccoli and potatoes, and in the past couple of days we turned my son's old crib (was recalled due to drop down sides) into trellis's for our loufas! We got some rows of corn in, and Richard planted melons. We also we planted some herbs in pots around the patio. Not too bad, but we still need to get the squashes and pumpkins going and the dried beans.

Corn rows

Crib side trellis for loufas

table on new patio

We got some more fence in here and there, but not enough to let the guineas free again. In the chicken tractor they remain.

Napoleon

My little Napolean is my new best friend, hopping through the 2 x 4 bottom of the field fence to run up and say hi every time I'm in the upper garden. Same story...I pet him, I hold him and then he runs back to his girls. He's a little cutie these days, and a surprise from the mean little rooster he used to be. He did peck at my son, so he can't be trusted really, but I'm enjoying the nice side of his personality.

We have been working on little booklets, that like our classes, give a hands on workshop type approach to sustainability topics. I have finished one entitled Gardening Techniques: Building a Raised Planter and Utilizing Sheet Mulch to Prepare the Bed. It is 11 pages and has detailed instructions along with color photos to guide you through the entire process.  

I am currently working on our version of a chicken how-to-guide called The Chicken Manual. Richard and I both contributed our knowledge and experience in this little book, which covers the entire subject of chickens from chicks to adult layers. Also color photos. Both are for sale...we've been peddling them at the Farmer's markets, and if anyone would like more information, feel free to contact me. They are cheap, and cover our printing costs...maybe. Anything extra goes to the farm of course.

It sure feels good to be doing something creative, and maybe one day soon I will give in to that urge to paint!

Also offering garden design consultation services in our area. Trying to work easier and smarter and less physical. So many new ideas and still so much to do here on our little farm. The critters are all doing well and the humans are getting by the best we can.

Lining up cereal

My daughter has been especially focused (between tantrums) on lining things up these days. This morning her cereal...little balls of GFCF cereal, and this afternoon, her dollhouse furniture...across the room and back. It takes her an hour to eat a bowl of cereal.

Lining up toys

This withdrawal thing has got to end soon, right? We did get an appointment with the biomedical doctor up in the Springs...for August. It's a start. Maybe they can run some blood tests and see if the kids are really allergic to gluten and dairy, or if it's something else altogether.

It turns out kids with Pervasive Development Disorders may have more sensitivities to toxins in the environment...like our house. Newer houses, loaded full of carpet and particle board cabinets and vinyl floors are extremely dangerous for people with allergy sensitivities, and in the case of these kids, the off gassing of these hazardous materials causes even more brain dysfunction.

What do I do with that? A can of no VOC paint costs about $35. We need new flooring, new cabinets, new paint, new doors, new trim...how is that going to happen? It's time to start manifesting a few miracles.

Raised beds and a trellis ...it's time to grow

Time passes and Spring fades into summer...it's getting hot now.

cabbage and broccoli

Got the potatoes, cabbages, sweet peas, green beans, cucumbers, broccoli and carrots, spinach, raspberries and strawberries in. It is a mixed mess of sunken beds, raised beds and planter boxes, although we did manage to build two very nice trellis's.




 

tomatoes

green bean/cuke trellis

 Richard's back is getting better, in spite of a bad MRI result, which showed three injuries. Now no one will see him except the Naturopathic doctor and the neurosurgeon in the Springs, which is still a month out. Thanks to Dr. Susan and a great little book by Louise Hay called You Can Heal Your Life, Richard is making great progress and has many good days and far fewer bad days.

I think we are learning our limitations, both physically, and mentally, maybe. I know this has been one hard lesson for me and I still have yet to handle any of it with much dignity and grace, although I'm getting better as I realize it is a test of spirit and yet one more battle against EGO.

Richard is realizing that he lives in a state of resistance to so many things and is trying to overcome it, so that he might progress onward on his spiritual path. Also read Countdown to Coherence by Hazel Courteney, which is a great read and opened my mind, just when I thought I'd heard almost every theory related to metaphysics.

So we come away from this lesson in life as wiser human beings...another day in Earth school for the spiritual beings we are.

On the farm, I still battle with trying to get it all done. A couple of Co-op members came out to help for a day and we got loads of things finished. It was wonderful and we learned that they are on a similar path to the one Richard and I travel. Wonderful to meet like-minded folks...always! Thanks John and Natalia!

We have another friend here to help today, trying to get the garden tilled so I can plant the tomatoes and peppers.

Honey 12-13 weeks old

Honey is growing like a weed and the children are still "withdrawing" from gluten and casein. My little girl wrote her numbers for the first time last week (normally she just scribbles). Mostly the kids are still hyper and tantrumming every time something sets them off (wrong color cereal bowl, Daddy had to go to work, I want ice cream).

patio in upper garden

I managed to get a patio built out of the old flagstones  I've been dragging around from house to house. And I got the parking area finished...well it needs another layer of gravel, but it is good enough for now.



We have chased and recaptured the guineas ( they were harassing some neighbors who weren't too keen on their morning wake up calls) and put them in a chicken tractor, which was supposed to be Andy's (the white silkie roo) new home. Napoleon fled the coop and headed off to join the girls up in the llama barn, leaving poor little timid Andy all alone.

Napoleon finds his girls

Sometimes Napoleon follows me around, yelling and wanting to fight, so today I just squatted down and waited for him to approach, and ever so gently I reached out my hand to pet him. He didn't attack me at all, and in fact let me pet him and pick him up and cuddle him and fuss over him for quite a while. I guess the angry little roo just wanted some love. Don't we all?

Pelicans, magpies and hummingbirds...for the birds, man!

I saw the Pelicans two more times. Both times with binoculars, and even Richard was there to witness the last sighting, on another lake just outside of Florence. That time there was only one majestic bird, looking a lot like a swan, except for the beak. Self-sacrifice, but also recognizing EGO and holding it at bay long enough to let the higher self shine through.

Also checked out my Crowley tarot deck (Yeah Susan, I have one too...although it has been a long time...synchronicity) and sure enough as my friend Susan, from Taos, reminded me the Pelican sits there with the Empress, the ultimate Mama and woman of power and strength (I will make it through this).

And one day I saw a single magpie, which I have not seen in these parts...odd, considering the geography, but right on, considering the meaning: anger, which boiled and bubbled inside of me one day last week until it exploded. I do regret that, although it is better to release it than to hold on to it.

We sold the goats. All of them. Richard could no longer milk them. although he tried and twisted his back the few days he did it--the result was another day on the floor or in bed or in the recliner, immobile. I tried too, but maybe not hard enough. It took me too long and they inevitably lost patience with me and started to squirm, lifting legs and sticking feet in the milk bucket...throw the whole batch away and try again tomorrow. I lost patience with trying. And I could not leave my little children alone so long. I chose the mom role rather than the milk maid.

Goats going to their new home

Another deciding factor: the kids, who have lost all control of themselves during Richard's down time. Is it the excitement of seeing Dad (on the floor in the living room), or something else? A little nagging voice in my head reminded me of how I used to call them my ADD babies when they were in my womb (how they twisted and tumbled), but the tantrums and the bouncing off the walls, the shrieking and running for the roads when outside, the general craziness begged to be examined. So I did a little research on ADHD, which they might be and found something even more disturbing...so  many of their behaviors matched mild cases of Autistic children. Either way, they appear to be on the PDD spectrum or the autistic spectrum. What can I do, I thought? Remove all dairy and gluten from their diet. Should see results in as little as three days or as long as six months. GFCF here we go! Don't need the goats anymore anyway.

The people who bought the whole herd were the same people we bought the three mamas from two years ago. Crazy. They love them already and will take very good care of them.

Richard went back to our Naturopath, who is a remarkable healer, and he walked out of there upright and better than I have seen him since this all began. He did have an MRI, which we don't know the results of, but we are trying to avoid a surgery, and instead are focusing upon spiritual matters. Messages from the Universe come in all forms.While he tries to figure out his issues, I'm trying to work through mine too.

I also sold my 23 baby chicks off to various people. Without the CSA (we sent all the money back to our shareholders), we don't need so many chickens. Eggs are backing up in my fridge.

I've been angry and frustrated. I can't get the gardens ready fast enough. I can't be the mom, the maid, the house cleaner, the cook, the masseuse, the gardener and the stable boy. My head is spinning and my body is so sore. My back is starting to hurt. Hey, maybe I should just sell the llamas too and head to NM and begin again. I search the internet for cheap properties...and Richard gets worse, his legs hurting and cramping (fear of moving) every time I talk of moving to NM.

Stuck back in my cage. I still have my llamas and 20 old hens and three entertaining roosters, two wandering guineas (more neighbors report them in their yards), and no money to hire help. Life is so good right now I can feel it transferring into my body...if something doesn't give I will be on the floor next to Richard. A comedy of errors indeed!

Maybe farming is not for us.

Ah, summer is coming and in rolls the chaos that usually arrives with the heat.

One of the estimates I got on finishing some of the projects (I have been trying, but just can't get it all done) was from our old friend with the Earthship...such a great man, and so spiritually aware. We decided to enlist his help for as much as we can afford...I think we need his wonderful energy as much as his construction expertise. Maybe the llama earthbag barn will get finished before it falls down. Yippee!

We walk blindly through our lives, creating a reality we don't understand or know how to relate to, unaware that we hold the power deep within to change it all.

The hummingbirds are back, buzzing me as I do my outside chores...there's meaning in that too, I know.

Pelicans

I really did see them. At least, I think I did. Twice.

How often does one see a flock of Pelicans in southern Colorado? Crazy.....but there they were. On my drive back from picking up hay from our farmer friend and organic chicken food from the feed store a couple of days ago, I saw a whole mess of birds circling in the air above the prison farm. White birds. Seagulls, I thought. Well, that's unusual, but not unheard of. I'd seen seagulls often enough in Colorado, and in some odd places too. But, as I got closer to the birds in flight, I noticed they seemed strange, not like seagulls at all, and that big yellow bill was way too long. Do seagulls have yellow bills?

Now, I'm super curious, being a fan of the bird world and all, and I roll down the window (or push the button) and stick my head out, trying to get a better look while not running into the occasional oncoming car or farm truck. I should have pulled over, but life on our little farm called me back, and I decided I was either very lucky indeed to have seen such exciting birds, or just plain crazy, suffering some warp in reality that allowed me to hallucinate about thirty pelicans in the high desert of Colorado. Yeah, there were two groups of them and they were over a lake near the river, so there was water.

So I get home and forget about it in the midst of  my new job as farm manager and farm laborer and my old job as mother, housekeeper and cook. And as has been my way as of late, my Ego begins to grumble about the unfairness of life's circumstances and my mood gets sore with my aching muscles from digging post holes and potato trenches, from unloading hay and heavy wood posts for the fence I'm trying to get up to keep the guineas in. I don't want to be a farmer. I want it to be all done so I can wander through the gardens and admire my birds and flowers and growing things. Without Richard, I realize, I'm it, and it's way too much. I want to flee into the desert of NM and study the sagebrush.

Now that I'm on the new farm weight loss plan of constant work, I'm feeling pretty trapped and resentful. When was the last time I got to be sick? When you become a mother, you don't get to have down days. Even when you have the flu, you gotta pull it together long enough to feed and dress the kids. Life keeps on going and there is so much to do. Never a break. Work it off. There is no one else.

Yeah, I can't milk the goats like Richard, because I've milked them maybe five times in the year and a half that we've had them. It takes me about a half hour per goat, hands cramping, as I try to keep the agitated mama from putting her foot in the milk pail. When I get done with the morning chores, I'm in a state of agitation myself, and there are still kids to feed and backs to rub and laundry to do and floors to clean and meals to make and eggs to fetch and on and on it goes. I'd like to sit down. I don't want to haul another bale of hay. I broke the post hole diggers trying to get the holes dug for my pallet fence. My guineas are in the neighbors yard yelling and screeching. Do they like birds, I wonder? I had a man come out to give me an estimate on finishing the perimeter fence. Ha! There's a reason why we are doing it all ourselves. But, he did help me chase the guineas back into my yard. Nice of him.

Yeah, I've been in the clutches of an angry and resentful Ego that spits out rude words to anyone who dares speak to me. Not a good time. I fantasize about an old adobe in the desert where I could live...alone.  I walk by my living room windows and see the panorama of the mountains with the mesas in the foreground and think how I'd love to just take my easel outside and paint. Break out the forbidden oils and set the muse free.
That's on my way to something else, and forgotten as soon as I leave the room.

I think of selling the goats, the llamas, the millions of chickens and packing up the remainder of my herd and running to the desert, to my fantasy house that doesn't exist. Not to be. Here I am, back in my life, with screaming kids and a husband parked on the floor.

Pelicans...
When I find my book on animal totems ( Animal-Speak by Ted Andrews) I learn that Pelicans represent "renewed buoyancy and unselfishness."
Now that's something. That can't be right. Is this a message on how I should be behaving rather than what's currently happening? I sure feel like a selfish witch who is being drug down to the murky depths of a hateful out of control Ego.
The Pelican is about self-sacrifice and how to rise above difficult life circumstances. But, how do you do that with grace and dignity while scraping the chicken poop off your boot?

So today I see them again. Pelicans. On the way back from taking Richard to a chiropractor, I see a mass of birds on the lake and pull into the parking lot of the old cement plant (?) or whatever it used to be. The gates are locked and I can't get a good view, so the old me, the wild and crazy adventurous me, hops out of the car. "Do you think I'll get arrested?" I ask Richard as I duck under the gate with phone in hand (the only camera I have with me...still dreaming of that SLR with telephoto lens). The yelling kids and Richard's constant pain and immobility vanish as I head across private property to find my birds. And there they are...they look like swans, they are so big. Was I mistaken?

I can't get close enough to really tell for sure, but it looks like one is standing with his huge bill swinging down to his chest. Yes! I try to snap a picture with our new phone camera (later I learned I shot a photo of the shoreline and no birds) and contemplate getting closer. But there is a mess of broken concrete rubble and it looks like some kind of old drainage into the lake... is this a toxic zone? And, I should not be here... trespassing. So I head back and even run the last 30 feet. I feel elevated, elated and there is a surge of energy running through my veins. I want to run. I want to fly. I want to get in the car and drive to Santa Fe.

But reality is a family and a farm and animals to take care of and kids to feed. Richard has to go to work in the afternoon. My moment of bliss has flown away with the four birds who seem to follow the car as we head out. "Did you see them?" I ask Richard. "Were they real?"

"I don't know. I can't really turn my head."

Back into the mundane I fall, plummeting into a different dimension, one where wild goose chases (or Pelican) are not only uncommon but waste precious time needed to dig holes for trees.

Guardian dog

We got a new puppy last Friday!!

Honey

My guardian dog, in training, is a female 9 week old Great Pyrenees pup with badger markings. We call her Honey because she is so sweet, and after her first bath, she smelled sweet too.

I found her through the Thrifty Nickle ads, which is okay, but I can't really be assured of the quality of this pups genes. Is she full blooded? She seems kind of miniature right now, but maybe that's all we need for our micro farm! She does have the two dew claws, which I read the Great Pyrs usually have, and she has the face, and it really doesn't much matter  because I love her anyway.

It seems I have a special fondness for white fluffy animals.

My little fuzzball girl does the rounds with me every day as I collect eggs, water the gardens and eventually close up the animals for the night. She helps me herd the chickens into the coop. She doesn't chase them, but her presence sends them into a tizzy and they all run inside, just like that. Handy.

It is my job to teach her the farm and she has become my shadow...so much so I lose her sometimes, and turn around fast and there she is, right behind me, turning with me. She's great fun, and except for the puppy training (housebreaking and chewing), which always gets old, she is a constant delight.

Jealous Quinton

My chihuahuas, the male in particular, is extremely jealous and shows his disapproval by attacking Honey when I'm not looking. He's getting better now that we are almost a week along, but for a few days there I was carrying my Great Pyrenees around to protect her from my chihuahua. The irony. Maybe the tiny chihuahua will always be the "big dog" in the house.

We also visited Paul and Tammy at Wren's Nest Farm in Pueblo last Friday when we went to meet the dog seller at Big R. We delivered our "Lucky" horse trailer to them so they could go pick up their new Jersey milk cow in Walsenburg. How exciting is that? I wish we had the space to have a cow here...there was another for sale, reasonably priced, where they found theirs. I love visiting their farm. They inspire me to just do it...get out there and farm!

And now our little farm, the Green Desert Eco Farm has a farm dog to protect the livestock and chase off the deer...in a few months. We've also sold some more CSA shares which leaves us with only TWO left. The goats are in milk and Richard has a cheese-making class for the Canon Food Co-op this Sunday down at the Rockvale Community Center. We are planting...lettuces, radishes, spinach and transplanting raspberries. There are many shelves of plant starts in Richard's office and the gardens are being prepared. There are plans for another greenhouse in the upper garden and we have ordered our first flock of meat chickens. Things are moving along. Spring is definitely here.